Cyber Debate gone too far


“I am an emotional creature.” The title of Eve Enslar’s  new book. I am indeed an emotional creature. I have hopes and I have dreams. I believe in equality and I fight for that belief. In this fight I have become an emotional creature. I cry at the injustice of women and children being trafficked into and out of the country for forced labor and sex work. I get mad when someone thinks it is okay to force a women to have a child or force a women to give up a child. Yes! I am Pro-Choice. “The movement with the radical view that women own their own bodies.” I sometimes let my emotion get the best of me and I lash out. I lash out at people who lash out at me for believing that telling two men they can’t marry, because it is a sin and that they will go to hell. I lash out when people call a women a slut, a whore, and then a murderer when she opts for an abortion when they do not know the emotional toll it has taken on that women and what lead her to that choice. I lash out, because I am mad.

So this following is in response to Obama stopping private religious companies from not allowing birth control on their coverage. Now, this guy “Chad” is an ultra conservative religious man who has been following me around the web attacking me and at one point told me to watch out, because someone might take it upon themselves to find me and bring me physical harm. Now I have been blogging for some time now and I admit that my views can be very different from others, but I have never threatened or been threatened before and it really shocked and scared me. For someone to threaten you and mask it as “friendly advice” is even scarier.

For a second I thought of deleting my email and making a new one under a new user name to get away from this man, but then I got angry. I got so mad that someone could put so much fear in me and turn me into a coward. A grown man that trails behind me to attack  me with verbal abuse, because we do not agree. A man that is married with children, spending his hours following a college student in her early 20’s online made me so angry, because he had the nerve to call ME then threaten me. It also made me angry, because he is representing his religion and setting a bad example for his religion by acting in such a manner, then claim to have a moral high ground. It made me angry, because it gives a negative view of religion in general. Religion is a beautiful thing in my opinion, but it is also in my opinion that it is people like him that turn people away from religion. To me that is sad. After this event, I realized how celebrities must feel when they are stalked online and sent threats of physical harm. My anger also made me stubborn. I refused to allow this man to control me with fear and make me run in and hide. I will stand for my beliefs and he will stand for his and that is okay. But I will stand, not run. I admit I definitely could have handled it better and proved to him that I was being childish by stooping to his level of name calling, but i am an emotional creature and still have a lot to learn. It’s okay to be an emotional creature and I love that part me, it let’s me know that I am human.

Back to my story…After he called me childish, and said I was a waste of time, he continued to follow my threads online (proving himself the childish one, and showing that I was not a waste of time in his eyes since he continues to seek me out) I decided to take the high road without backing down. I decided to apologize for returning what he dished out, because by doing so did in fact make me childish. By apologizing (which I really did not want to do I admit) I tried to establish a healthy debate and end it once and for all. Here is the conversation. I am open to all criticism so I encourage you to leave a comment on what you think of the situation, whether you think i am right or wrong, and would love to hear if you have experienced something like this is the blogoshere.

Stephanie  •  19 hours ago Remove

I bet these same people who do not allow birth control are also against abortion. How are we supposed to avoid abortion if they do not give us birth control as a precaution to avoid unwanted pregnancies. We are not cattle and you can not dictate what we do with our reproductive system.

10 Replies

  • Chad  •  4 hours ago Report Abuse

    Buy your own damn birth control. Why do I have to pay for you if you refuse to keep your legs shut?

  • Stephanie  •  3 hours ago Remove

    Really Chad?? You Again?? You are really stuck on me. Stop following me.

  • Chad  •  2 hours 44 minutes ago Report Abuse

    What’s the matter, Stephanie? You afraid of people that are smarter than you?

  • Not at all. Let’s clear the air once and for all and I’ll be the mature one about it. I’m done aiding your childish behavior. Here are my stances and we can debate it out. I will respect your stance and agree to disagree.

    1.) I believe that a stay at home dad is not less masculine. He is providing a safe and nurturing environment for his children. To say that he is weak for doing so, is calling women who are stay at home moms are also weak.2.) I do not believe that health providers should take away birth control options, because it is against their religious views. It prevents unwanted pregnancies and would prevent the need for abortions. You do not pay for birth control. Less than 3 percent of your taxes goes to medical aid. Most of you taxes goes to the government and pays for their big houses.

    3.) In the case an abortion is needed, I believe that a women should be able to decide for herself if she want’s one. I guess Pro-Choice is this radical idea that women own their own bodies.

    4) as to your behavior, It is funny that you say I am immature and childish. Yet you are the one following, spending your day’s harassing a “child” as you say, who is also “unworthy of your attention” as you put it. Yet here you are. Yes we have opposing views and that will not change. These are my stances and I stick by them and I actually respect you for not backing down and sticking to your choices as well. It is better to stand for something then nothing at all.

    Feel free to list your stances as well so we have a clear view of what each of us stands for, and I will be happy with that for it will show we are taking a mature route, instead of all the name calling and immature game of “tag your a douche.”

  • Also as for men trying to come up with a bill to control women’s reproductive rights a.k.a banning abortions. A women senator has also come up with a bill to Regulate the Reproductive Health of Men. 

    State Senator Nina Turner introduced SB 307, which requires men to visit a sex therapist, undergo a cardiac stress test, and get their sexual partner to sign a notarized affidavit confirming impotency in order to get a prescription for Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs. The bill also requires men who take the drugs to be continually “tested for heart problems, receive counseling about possible side effects and receive information about “pursuing celibacy as a viable lifestyle choice.””Do any of you have a problem with this bill??

  • Chad  •  1 hour 4 minutes ago Report Abuse

    This is not a reproductive rights argument. You intentionally misconstrue the argument to fit your pre-conceived response. If this were a reproductive rights argument we’d talking about women legislating pap smears, annual mammograms and other routine medical examinations to ensure a woman’s reproductive health, which would mean ironically enough for you that she remain healthy enough to have a child.This is an argument about the life that you are ending when you selfishly choose to abort a fetus. I’m not going to argue that women shouldn’t have the right to terminate a child, but it should be done early and should be illegal after the fetus become viable. Do you know what an abortion is? Do you know how the fetus suffers during an abortion? Are you aware that a fetus can feel pain by twenty weeks? I think you believe that abortion is just a cool debate topic, but you’re utterly clueless as to what abortion actually is.

  • Chad  •  50 minutes ago Report Abuse

    Okay as to your long winded comments I’ll respond accordingly. You want the debate. Then let’s go at it.1.) I actually agree with you here, but let’s not kid ourselves. A father can provide a nurturing environment for his children, but the mother is the naturally selected nurturer. To deny that women have the God given ability to be nurturing to their children is to deny nature. How many other species of animal can you name where the male of the species cares for the young? Go ahead and take a shot at that.

    2.) If you want the right to abortion then that’s your choice since it is, unfortunately a legal thing in this nation. Why do you feel though that your right to abortion trumps my right to religious freedom? You don’t want your rights constricted by interference, yet you’re more than willing to constrict the religious rights of other by forcing them to do condone and participate in abortion. That is morally and ethically wrong. There are plenty of abortion provides and contraceptive options that do not involve forcing religious institutions to set aside their strong beliefs in support of life. And no person should be forced to contribute their tax dollars towards something they find as morally reprehensible as abortion. By the way, what is your source of the 3% figure because that is laughably incorrect.

    3.) Fine. If you want to take a life because you can then that is your choice. It’s the moral equivalent of a serial killers thought process. They also take lives because they can. Does it matter if the life was outside of womb or not? It’s still a life. You also like to argue that abortion is about your control of your body. Why is it that you don’t take the same responsibility for what you do with YOUR body BEFORE you get pregnant. Your argument here is just more selfish blather. You believe that since the fetus, which did nothing wrong and didn’t ask to be conceived, is inside your body you control its existence. You want to play God, but you don’t want to accept responsibility for the decision and the consequences.

    4.) As for my behavior. I’m not going to respond to that nonsense. You got what you deserved due to your callous, unfeeling, selfish and arrogant ignorance on these positions. If your skin is too thin to endure the argument, perhaps you should not engage in the first place.

  • Stephanie  •  47 minutes ago Remove

    I agree with parts of your second paragraph Chad. Personally I do not see myself getting an abortion. I myself would choose adoption. But that is my choice. By banning abortion, you are forcing a women to reproduce making it a reproductive rights issue. I am well aware of what an abortion is and it is not a choice women come to lightly. I also agree that abortion after weeks is horrible and a horrifying experience. But for some women there is no other option. Between her and her dr. abortion is the best option do to health reasons for her or the baby. You should watch a documentary about the documentary called After Tiller, which follows the lives of four other late-term abortion providers after Tiller’s assassination and the women who have no choice but to get a late term abortion, for health reasons. I’ve researched and spoken to women and it is a horrible process that they go through and my heart goes out to them, but sometimes there is no other choice.PS. I am really glad we are actually having a valid conversation now and actually debating. Maybe in your next response you will refrain from using words such as “clueless” and “selfish.” I apologize for my previous harsh language. When I get passionate about a topic and someone attacks me, I usually stoop to their level as well and dish out the same language. It is something that I am working on and hopefully you will be able to take the mature route as well. My mom always taught me to respect my elders, and truth is if we were face to face I would speak to you in this manner as it was not how I was raised. Online you lose sight that you are talking to an actual human being and therefore you should conduct yourself in the same manner as you would in person

  • Stephanie  •  40 minutes ago Remove

    1) Sea horses
    2.) We are not forcing women to get an abortion. If you don’t want one because of your beliefs, do not get one. I just ask that you do not force women to go through a pregnancy that they either don’t want to or can’t
    3.)Getting redundant.
    4.)I actually thank you, because you are making me stronger.

  • Stephanie  •  30 minutes ago Remove

    I am all for debating and arguing points. But comments like “keep your legs closed,” does not help a political debate. I can go on a rant and say it’s childish, and wrong for you to say especially since you are so religious. I have my moral beliefs, but I do not force other people to believe in them, because only God can judge and Let Him Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone. God judges sin equally, no sin is greater than another in His eyes. A sin is a sin and I sure have sinned, just as you have. I can’t force my moral code on someone else and I wont. Their choices are their own, that is why God gave us free will.

  • Chad  •  39 seconds ago Report Abuse

    Sea horses. Wow. Of all the species on this earth you could come up with one where the male is more nurturing of its young than the female. Yes, you clearly won that argument.Again, your argument fits a pre-conceived response. I am not arguing, nor do I support, making abortions illegal. If women want to make choose the selfish decision of taking a life because it is an inconvenience then that decision is on their soul. What I am arguing is that after the fetus become viable it has the right to life. The same right to life that you and I share. The fact that it biologically remains inside the uterus is irrelevant since it could survive outside the uterus. You wouldn’t advocate killing a disabled child outside the uterus would you? Why do you then find it morally justified to take that life if it inside the woman’s uterus? Especially, when scientifically we know that the taking of that life is torturous, painful and cruel.

  • Stephanie • a second agoRemove

    I never said it was morally right. I said it was not your choice. Difference, and you told me to come up with one, I did. Don’t be mad, because I did what you said. We are never going to budge from our stances and that’s okay. You think it is a selfish act and that all women do it because it is an inconvenience, when that is not the case. We will never agree and that is okay, I can live with that and I am happy about my stances. If you think that makes me evil, then so be it. Keep fighting for what you believe in and I wish you all the best. If we cross paths again on here I hope to have a good debate with you free of following and name calling, because I really am above it and shouldn’t have stooped so low. Again, have a great day, a great night, and a great life.

    • Chad 12 minutes ago

      Oh so it’s morally wrong, but you support women being able to make morally reprehensible decisions?

      I didn’t say name one, I said “how many other species: you could only come up with one.

      It is a selfish act. And that vast majority of abortions are performed because morally bankrupt women see it as another form of birth control. I am not including in my disdain for abortion those women who have abortions in the case of rape, incest or jeopardy of their own life, but have complete disdain for any woman that chooses an abortion after the fetus is viable. There is simply no arguing that after twenty weeks that is infanticide.

    • Chad 9 minutes ago

      As for the ever tired argument of “it’s my body” would then support drunk driving? After all it’s their body and they choose to put alcohol inside of it.

      Would you support a person with an infectious disease being allowed into public? After all it’s their body and you can’t force them to get medical assistance. Who are you to make their medical decisions for them?

      Would you support a persons right to abuse illicit narcotics, even if it meant their own demise? After all it’s their body and they are perfectly within their rights to decide what they do with it. People engaging in interventions are just trying to force their will upon them with a justifiable right.

    • Chad 9 minutes ago

      *without a justifiable right

    • I do not believe the choice to abort is harming the general public. Drunk driving on the other hand does. We are not going to agree. We will never agree. Whether I believe it is morally wrong, is not the case. I do not want to see two men making out in front of me, but I’m not going to stop them from getting married, just because I have been conditioned to not like the sight of it. Love is love and they have the right to marry who they love without fear of discrimination and a women has the right to get an abortion and that is my stance. We have established that we do not agree sir, so I will go back to my last comment and end this with have a good day, a good night and a good life.